Entries for November, 2008



You want what?

Posted on November 17th, 2008
Tags: , Posted in Funny, Work | Comments Off

Bookshops I’ve found, bring in a large variety of people and this is especially true in an airport. It was earlier today my colleagues and I were discussing Erotica, that genre of book which is neither romance or porn, but somewhere in between, just without the pictures.

Anyway, I was busy doing my bookshop duties (which includes day dreaming about the books I want to borrow) when a customer comes up to me and asks, “Do you have books on sex?”

It took me about five seconds to fully process this information and I wasn’t sure if I had heard him correctly, so I just assumed I heard him say the s.e.x word. I asked him what age group he wanted (I’m talking educational sex books here – not books on how to be a peado!) and he just replied again with, “Sex books.”

“Sex books?” I reply, just trying to confirm he is in fact telling me he wants a sex book and also because I’m a little bit mean and enjoy other people’s discomfort.

“Yes, yes, sex books, dirty sex books.”

“Ahh,” I say. “You want erotica. This way please.”

Is it wrong that it made my day?



Fucking tosser

Posted on November 8th, 2008
Tags: , Posted in Life | Comments Off

It was pissing it down, the bottom of my trousers were soaked and my feet absolutely ached. My day had already gotten off to a crap start as some twat pushed me over on the escalator. I shouted at him but the fecker was wearing an iPod and didn’t hear my expletives. Fuck.

So there I was, walking home after a long day at work. The rain was coming down in proverbial buckets and I couldn’t wait to get into my jammies and have myself a nice cup of tea. But before I made it to my front door, a guy approached me.

Him: “Your name is Lisa, ain’t it?”
Me: “No.”
Him: “Sandra?”
Me: “No.”
Him: “I see you walking past here everyday.”
Yeah, well this is my route to work…
Him: “Do you have a boyfriend?”
At this point I roll my eyes and let my mind wonder to that nice cuppa tea I’m going to have.
Me: “Yes, thanks.”
Him: “How many?”
Cheeky fucker.

I didn’t bother replying to his stupid question and just walked the last 100 yards to my front door. How can anyone think it’s acceptable to approach a random person in the street and ask questions like these, in the pouring rain and pitch black darkness? It’s not like I was in a club putting out THOSE vibes, whatever the fuck those vibes are.