Apparently I’m a strong person. I have no idea what the fuck that means. All I know is since my relationship ended with the ex, since the truth came out about his lies and cheating, I’ve been coping – well apart from that period the other night where I cried so much I thought I’d die from dehydration.

But apart from that I’ve been fine. I’ve gone to work, I’ve taken up a new hobby (learning to drive) I’ve spent time aplenty with my bestest friend in the whole wide world and I’ve actually enjoyed watching Matt Smith play Doctor Who.

I’ve bonded with my new housemates over a pot of tea and several funny stories; I’ve enjoyed a BBQ or two. I’ve been off my face, I’ve stayed in and read until my eyesight has blurred. I’ve cooked, I’ve been out to dinner, I’ve starved, I’ve been shopping, I’ve saved, I’ve been ill – but most of all, I’ve done exactly as I wanted.

I’ve been to the gym, I’ve sweated and cursed and soldered on. I’ve walked, I’ve watched, I’ve eaten and wrote. I’ve cried, I’ve laughed and I’ve felt. I’ve listened to music, I’ve thought, I’ve gone blank, I’ve visited family, I’ve loved and more often than not, I’ve hated.

Which will explain why I’ve barely been online the past couple of months. I’ve been busy rebuilding what is essentially my soul.

I’m not there yet, but I know I will be. The fact I’m writing in my blog again means I’m one step closer to being myself. Not because it’s what I used to do before the shit hit the relationship fan, but because the ability to express myself with words is slowly returning.

I cannot put into words what I’ve been through the past few months but I hope one day soon I’ll be able to.

Anyway – I have a new design, not to mention a new domain name. It’s actually not finished yet. I still have lots of little things to add. It’s far too plain. But I’m fed up with not having a blog to write in, so it was either this or nothing at all. The concept of the design is based around lots of life affirming situations – things which have made me into the person I am now. The location (W5) is where I grew up in London and not my current location; although it’s not far off.

Not much else to say except I don’t have time to maintain my own CMS anymore, so I’ve opted for using WordPress – so far so good.

Tags: Life, The Ex, Website

This entry was posted on Wednesday, May 5th, 2010 at 12:04 am and is filed under Life. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.