Archive for July, 2010

A rather long goodbye

You came into my life, unannounced and unexpected,
Yet here you are, standing tall – you’ve left me totally affected.
With every word, with every piece, of information I’ve digested,
I know you more, I’m in too deep; I think I really should be tested.

For my sanity has left me, or perhaps it’s just arrived.
I never knew the difference until you looked into my eyes.
And as my world began to turn; I found you caught me by surprise.
With every passing moment, we come closer yet, to our goodbye.

You stayed only for a second, I’ll remember you longer still.
I’ll try and count forever, but I don’t think I have the will –
To see that far ahead as I keep on looking back.
Know only this, I miss you; I watch our curtain fade to black.

I love you know…

I’ve been spending time on the tills recently at work due to staffing issues (basically we don’t have any) which gives me ample opportunity to listen in on other people’s conversations as they wait in the queue.

I love doing this.

It’s the only perk of being a till drone for a few hours; well that and watching people’s reactions after asking them if they want to pay a penny for a bag… anyway.

So picture the scene if you will; I had a queue a mile long. Well, that’s not quite right, it was a mile long AND wide – damn passengers with all their carry on crap. There should be a rule… if you can’t CARRY it in your hands, then you shouldn’t be allowed to take it onboard with you.

Anyway, standing in the queue was a tired but very sweet looking kid who was waiting patiently for his mum to pay for their books. Like all greedy good retailers, we have a selection of products strategically placed around the till area to entice customers to buy them. Because we’re a bookshop, you might think we have, I don’t know… say bookmarks or pens placed around ours. But no, we have chewing gum, nail varnish and card games.

Clearly our retailer knows its market.

Eventually the little kid and his mother reach the counter and as I’m ringing up their items, the kid turns to his mother and says: “Mum I love you know.”

Aww. How sweet I think, as does the mother, who returns the sentiments and says: “I love you too.”

The kid looks confused, I merely wipe my forehead… by god it’s hot… as the mother simply smiles.

“No, no. I mean, I love you know,” he states again whilst pointing to the counter.

The mother looks at the counter.

“UNO? You mean OOH-NO - the card game?”

“Yeah. You know.”

I swear, that fucking kid made my day.

When in Rome…

Most of you probably don’t know this, but I went to Rome at the end of the June. And instead of writing a big old blog post about it, describing my experiences in hilaric (a real word, I’ll have you know) detail and what not, I’ve managed to do everything but that. My intention this evening was to finally write an amazing, funny piece on my travels to Rome, sharing with you the stories of my life for that one week I did something different. Instead I ended up wasting my entire evening by adding a bunch of older blog posts from the last three years to this archive, thus making me focus on him just enough to shift my writing from humour, to wallow.

That’s procrastination at its most basic.

I can’t write about my trip to Rome, it simply won’t flow. In fact the only thing that did flow in Rome was the wine and the tears. The tears first obviously, then I soaked them up with the wine.

You see, I should have experienced Rome with the ex. It was supposed to be our romantic holiday in the eternal city – the place for love. But that was ballsed up earlier in the year when our relationship ended. So instead of forgoing the holiday, I went anyway. All by myself. The person who is crap at reading maps; who used to leave all the finer details of sorting a holiday out, to the ex.

I never even made an itinerary of things to do for whilst I was out there, because all the months leading up to the holiday, I was simply blocking it out. Delaying the inevitable, ignoring my last link to the ex – because I didn’t want to have to think about him. I couldn’t. So everyday I was out there, after consuming far too many pastries and cups of coffee than is perhaps socially acceptable and physically possible, I left the hotel complete with a bottle of water, a map,  my camera and a notebook.

And I walked, not looking at my map once.

I walked wherever my feet would take me. I didn’t stop. I saw everything. I tried everything I wanted to try. I drank everything I wanted to drink. I ate everything I wanted to eat; sometimes I even ate things I wasn’t expecting when my Italian didn’t come out as intended. I sat where I wanted to sit. I spoke to whoever and whomever I wished to speak to. I smiled whenever I found something worth smiling about. And I enjoyed and hated my time there in equal measures.

Enjoyed, because I was free to do whatever the hell I pleased. If I wanted to get ice-cream at three in the morning, I could. If I wanted to waste an hour at the colosseum staring at it in all its weathered glory, I could – and did. Enjoyed, because instead of running away at the thought of going on holiday alone, I embraced it. Perhaps I didn’t make the most of every moment I spent there, but I lived through every moment.

Hated… well, I was alone. Don’t get me wrong, I love my own company. I can spend many a day by myself people watching, happily eating in a restaurant by myself – even smiling to myself. But knowing that there should have been another person with me when there clearly wasn’t – that I did not enjoy. Not at all. It started at the airport when I had to check in.

PERSON MISSING.

It continued on the flight.

PERSON MISSING.

Empty seat.

It continued checking into the hotel.

PERSON MISSING.

Yes, I’m sure there isn’t someone else checking in. No, they won’t be arriving later. No, it’s just me now.

Just me.

Me.

Single.

Singular.

No we, no us, just me. Me. Me. Me.

A double bed – a hotel suite, far too big for one person, especially one as short as me. And after closing the door to my suite, I pushed my suitcase into the corner of the room, took off my red jacket – and filled the silence with huge, I’m-feeling-very-sorry-for-myself sobs. I cried. I sat slap bang in the middle of that big bed, and I let it all out. Months and months of pretending I didn’t care about my relationship ending leaked its way down my cheeks. It ruined my mascara, but I didn’t care. No one could see me.

And then I stopped crying. I washed my face – reapplied my mascara, even added some lipstick. I took my camera, my map, my notebook, my key card and I walked. And for the next seven days, I didn’t stop walking. I mean obviously I came back to the hotel in the evenings and slept, but I walked everywhere. All the time. I was walking off the last four years, definitely the last four months – and especially those last four croissants I had for breakfast.

I’ve tried writing about the things I saw whilst over there, about the things that happened to me, I really have; but what’s the point? A guidebook could tell you better than I could. Besides, that’s what photos are for, aren’t they? I bought a camera for that exact purpose. To prove that I could go out there and do something I didn’t really want to do. Not visit Rome, no, that I did want. But I didn’t want to acknowledge how much I had been hurt. I’d been surrounded by people for so long, housemates, work colleagues, friends… and now, without that support around me, I was exposed.

The truth is, I couldn’t tell you what I saw. I didn’t see anything there except the end of my relationship. And no one wants to see that.

Goodbye my lover.

Carlos

Carlos

The airport is a trove of lost treasures. It was only last week I found a half eaten sandwich – barely a day old.

I kid, I kid.

It was actually a week out of date.

But yesterday I found something much better than a smelly sandwich. It was a note, a card in fact. Written to a very sexy, handsome (her words, not mine) Spaniard named Carlos.

If you don’t believe me, just enlarge the picture on the left and read for yourself.

You must be wondering why then, I had such a card in my possession. I am not, after all, a sexy, handsome Spaniard named Carlos. Far from it. But a card I had. And it got me thinking. If this Carlos really appreciated Gloria’s heartfelt (if a slab too much cheddar) words, then why was the card tossed by the bin  with less care than you’d find in an old people’s home?

I mean, he couldn’t even be bothered to get it in the bin, shows how much he thought of her.

And what’s with the name Gloria? Do you know anyone with the name Gloria who’s under the age of sixty? Because I sure as hell don’t.

So I put two and two together. And instead of making four, or even a funny five – I simply made a funny.

Of course! Gloria really is a sixty year old woman. She’s probably from Cornwall, hence the title of this post. And Carlos really is a sexy, handsome Spaniard. Only he’s leaving the country now isn’t he? He doesn’t want to be reminded of his holiday fling abroad in the chilly isles of the UK with a tea drinking, hair-curler wearing, shortcake eating, Gloria, does he?

So he left the card and Gloria’s heart on the floor.

Well Gloria, you didn’t make Carlos’ day, but you certainly made mine.

Now, if I could only find a fiver next time…