I have just watched Wonderland on BBC2; this week being about “Virtual Adultery and Cyberspace Love”. The documentary centres on the lives of a few people who use the virtual online game, Second Life. One story features a woman named Carolyn, who uses Second Life and meets a guy with whom she has a relationship with, online. Following so far? Good. Everything sounds as normal as you can get in this day and age. But what really makes this programme a disturbing psychological mess, is that Carolyn actually has a husband and kids… and lives thousands of miles away from her online beau. As the programme plays out, the viewer is subjected to watch the utter despair of the real life husband, whilst the stupid bitch of a wife sits online all day and night to chat to a guy she has never met. Her kids and husband are forgotten as she engages in physical, sorry, virtual sex, going on dates and even arguing with the virtual guy, just like in real life, only it’s not. It’s a fucking computer game. I don’t care if there is someone real sitting on the other end of the computer, a game is a game.

I’ve actually played the game Second Life a few months ago, all for about two seconds. I didn’t find any enjoyment in it whatsoever. And this is coming from someone who loves computer games, role-playing ones at that. I used to spend hours online, I’ve spoken to people online for hours, heck, I’ve even met up with people from online. But the difference is I’m not a middle-aged woman with kids and a husband. I don’t have responsibilities other than to work and provide a roof over my head. I don’t have relationship issues and even if I did, I wouldn’t try to compensate them with digital pixels.

Life is so precious, why are people wasting it online? No matter how dull and unfulfilling your life may be, escaping into an online fantasy world is not going to do you any favours. The more you run away from your problems and suppress your real feelings, the harder it is going to be when you’re finally ready to acknowledge them. Parts of the documentary were funny to watch, but mostly it was just sad. This woman, who is destroying her family life further by believing in her virtual world more than the one in which she lives, is just sad. Is all this technology good for us? I suppose like most things, it depends what it’s used for and who is using it.

What is reality? The world we live in? The world we think we live in? The world we want to live in? If our realities are coloured by our own perceptions, then are we simply living in our own individual realities? What is real, what isn’t? I can’t understand why these people seek out life in a make-believe world, but then maybe I don’t see life the way they do. And to be honest, I wouldn’t want to.

Looking for something new and exciting cannot be found in a computer game, not long term anyway. Not really. Maybe I’m too hopeful, maybe my life will inevitably end up like Carolyn’s, maybe all internet users will? But you know what? When I fed up with my life, when I’ve had enough of the people around me and when I want to escape, you won’t find me online. I’ll be off living in the real world, with real people, in reality, my reality.